1 00:00:00,540 --> 00:00:02,040 What do we have here? 2 00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:05,900 Another surprisefor our birthday boy. 3 00:00:07,900 --> 00:00:10,460 Who's this cuddle boo? 4 00:00:12,110 --> 00:00:13,630 That's nasty. 5 00:00:13,630 --> 00:00:15,940 What kind of birthday party is this? 6 00:00:15,940 --> 00:00:19,170 Hey,man,how about some "pin the tail on the donkey"? 7 00:00:19,850 --> 00:00:21,360 This is a bearded dragon, 8 00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:25,450 named after one of my all-time favorite performers--Barbra Streisand. 9 00:00:25,450 --> 00:00:28,770 But you don't want to put her in the same cagewith Bette Midler. 10 00:00:28,770 --> 00:00:31,960 Those two divas do not get along. 11 00:00:34,240 --> 00:00:37,090 Oh,I'm here,I'm here,I made it. 12 00:00:37,470 --> 00:00:39,740 Thank you so much for getting Ritchie here. 13 00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:40,980 Okay,everything's cool at work. 14 00:00:40,980 --> 00:00:42,190 The towels were delivered. 15 00:00:42,190 --> 00:00:43,870 The guy came to fix the treadmill. 16 00:00:43,870 --> 00:00:45,860 And,you know,I think the hot tub is broken, 17 00:00:45,860 --> 00:00:49,130 so I just put a sign on it that says,cold plunge. 18 00:00:50,290 --> 00:00:51,770 I told you,I would have stayed. 19 00:00:51,770 --> 00:00:53,260 No,it's fine.You do too much already. 20 00:00:53,260 --> 00:00:56,390 You're already there every morning at 10:00 when the gym opens. 21 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,250 The gym opens at 8:00. 22 00:00:58,250 --> 00:01:00,330 Not on my mornings. 23 00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:02,130 Hey,did Ritchie see me? 24 00:01:02,130 --> 00:01:03,010 Hey,Ritchie... 25 00:01:03,010 --> 00:01:04,400 Ritchie,hi.Mommy's here. 26 00:01:04,400 --> 00:01:05,680 Hi,buddy,hi. 27 00:01:05,680 --> 00:01:09,550 Don't bother.He's waiting to have his turn with Helen Reddy. 28 00:01:09,550 --> 00:01:14,080 Wow,I got to start reading these permission slips before I sign them. 29 00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:15,550 She's a toad. 30 00:01:15,550 --> 00:01:18,450 Oh,I don't know,I liked her early stuff. 31 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:22,010 I'm going to go take a cold plunge. 32 00:01:22,940 --> 00:01:24,760 Oh,okay,kids,uh,quick reminder. 33 00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:27,940 If you're going to join my Reptile Adventure Club, 34 00:01:27,940 --> 00:01:31,910 the application deadline is the 25th,all right? 35 00:01:31,910 --> 00:01:34,070 So let's have cake. 36 00:01:34,070 --> 00:01:35,140 And,uh... 37 00:01:35,140 --> 00:01:37,120 keep your frosting away from Debbie Reynolds. 38 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:39,970 We're trying to get her in shape for Vegas. 39 00:01:40,960 --> 00:01:43,660 I don't understand this party. 40 00:01:43,660 --> 00:01:46,070 Hey,Mom,did you see me holding Vicki Lawrence? 41 00:01:46,070 --> 00:01:47,570 She's the biggest lizard here. 42 00:01:47,570 --> 00:01:49,520 Honey,I missed it. 43 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:51,580 I'm so sorry.I'm so sorry I was late. 44 00:01:51,580 --> 00:01:54,240 I got held up at work. 45 00:01:54,240 --> 00:01:55,410 Oh,buddy. 46 00:01:55,410 --> 00:01:57,650 But you know what,I'm goingto make it up to you,okay? 47 00:01:57,650 --> 00:02:00,370 How about if we have pizza for dinner tonight, 48 00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:03,270 and then we can play Wii until bedtime? 49 00:02:03,270 --> 00:02:04,290 -Okay. -Okay. -Okay. 50 00:02:04,290 --> 00:02:06,870 And can I join the Reptile Adventure Club? 51 00:02:06,870 --> 00:02:08,400 Oh,Reptile Club? 52 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:11,440 How about if I get you a club sandwich on the way home? 53 00:02:11,920 --> 00:02:14,150 No,I love this. 54 00:02:14,150 --> 00:02:15,520 These things can kill you. 55 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:17,390 I love it more than anything. 56 00:02:17,390 --> 00:02:19,740 All right,well,then let's sign you up. 57 00:02:19,740 --> 00:02:21,250 You have to turn itn by the 25th. 58 00:02:21,250 --> 00:02:22,170 Okay,I got it. 59 00:02:22,170 --> 00:02:23,920 -The 25th. -Yeah,Ritchie,I know. 60 00:02:23,920 --> 00:02:25,510 I said I got it,okay,buddy? 61 00:02:25,510 --> 00:02:26,860 All right,go enjoy the party. 62 00:02:26,860 --> 00:02:27,690 I'm going to get cake. 63 00:02:27,690 --> 00:02:29,080 Yeah,that's good. 64 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:29,980 Excuse me. 65 00:02:29,980 --> 00:02:30,880 Yeah? 66 00:02:30,880 --> 00:02:34,050 Would you care to have your picture takenwith the albino python? 67 00:02:34,050 --> 00:02:37,680 Oh,I haven't fallen for that line since college. 68 00:02:41,670 --> 00:02:44,690 I don't understand this party. 69 00:02:45,250 --> 00:02:48,800 00:02:51,550 -=www.ydy.com/bbs=- Proudly Presents 71 00:02:51,550 --> 00:02:54,250 Sync: YTET-�������� -=www.ydy.com/bbs=- 72 00:02:54,250 --> 00:02:55,740 You're up,Mom. 73 00:02:55,740 --> 00:02:56,990 Up what? 74 00:02:56,990 --> 00:02:58,280 Wii Baseball. 75 00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:00,280 Oh,yeah,Ritchie,you know what, 76 00:03:00,280 --> 00:03:03,700 I know I said that we'd play tonight,but I just got a call from Barb. 77 00:03:03,700 --> 00:03:05,380 I have to go and close the gym. 78 00:03:05,380 --> 00:03:07,580 She's had the hiccups for the last four hours. 79 00:03:07,580 --> 00:03:09,770 She had to go to the emergency room. 80 00:03:11,210 --> 00:03:13,740 God,that was such a long message. 81 00:03:14,600 --> 00:03:15,900 -Mom... -I know,honey. 82 00:03:15,900 --> 00:03:18,300 I'm so sorry,but you know what,I'm going to make it up to you, 83 00:03:18,300 --> 00:03:22,340 because while I'm gone,you can have sugar cereal for dinner. 84 00:03:22,340 --> 00:03:25,030 And you can say one curse word. 85 00:03:25,720 --> 00:03:27,840 But not the big one,okay,Ritchie? 86 00:03:27,840 --> 00:03:30,300 All right.You know what,you are such a good boy. 87 00:03:30,300 --> 00:03:31,610 I love... 88 00:03:31,610 --> 00:03:35,590 Honey,you know what,I'm still geing a whiff of Helen Reddy off of you. 89 00:03:35,590 --> 00:03:37,000 You better go upstairs,take a shower,dude. 90 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,650 Yeah,go. 91 00:03:39,410 --> 00:03:40,870 Hey,what's going on? 92 00:03:40,870 --> 00:03:43,770 What's going on,Richard,is that I feel like crap. 93 00:03:43,770 --> 00:03:46,310 I hate working at night and leaving Ritchie with a sitter. 94 00:03:46,310 --> 00:03:47,350 I'm his father. 95 00:03:49,220 --> 00:03:49,980 Yeah. 96 00:03:49,980 --> 00:03:52,650 Well,I'm running around like a crazy person 97 00:03:52,650 --> 00:03:54,410 because there's not enough of me to go around. 98 00:03:54,410 --> 00:03:56,160 It makes me feel like a bad mother. 99 00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:57,730 He won't even notice you're gone. 100 00:03:57,730 --> 00:03:59,150 He's 12. 101 00:03:59,150 --> 00:04:01,360 He'll spend all night playing with his Wii, 102 00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:04,340 and then he'll come out of the showerand we'll play some video games. 103 00:04:05,840 --> 00:04:08,260 Do you have any jokes that don't involve our son's wiener? 104 00:04:08,260 --> 00:04:09,980 No good ones. 105 00:04:12,370 --> 00:04:14,470 I just hate to leave. 106 00:04:14,470 --> 00:04:15,780 What's the big deal?You work all the time. 107 00:04:15,780 --> 00:04:16,780 Yeah,and I miss things. 108 00:04:16,780 --> 00:04:18,290 Like today at the birthday party, 109 00:04:18,290 --> 00:04:21,190 I missed seeing Ritchie touch Vicki Lawrence. 110 00:04:22,580 --> 00:04:25,120 He touched Vicki Lawrence? 111 00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:26,060 Yeah. 112 00:04:26,060 --> 00:04:28,970 The kids passed her all aroundand then they all got to touch her, 113 00:04:28,970 --> 00:04:31,150 and I missed it. 114 00:04:31,460 --> 00:04:33,990 What happened to her Carol Burnett money? 115 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:36,730 No,she's a lizard,Richard. 116 00:04:36,730 --> 00:04:37,940 How am I supposed to know that? 117 00:04:37,940 --> 00:04:38,910 Okay,sorry,sorry. 118 00:04:38,910 --> 00:04:41,120 It was a reptile party,okay? 119 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:44,270 And I missed the big moment because I got held up at work, 120 00:04:44,270 --> 00:04:47,090 and now I have to go out and work again,and I hate leaving, 121 00:04:47,090 --> 00:04:49,590 and I just feel so guilty. 122 00:04:49,590 --> 00:04:50,610 Why? 123 00:04:50,610 --> 00:04:51,960 You have to work. 124 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:53,870 You have to pay r things--to put him through school. 125 00:04:53,870 --> 00:04:56,340 It's not like you're out eating bonbons. 126 00:04:56,340 --> 00:04:58,880 I had bonbons at work today. 127 00:05:00,030 --> 00:05:01,190 I don't get guilt. 128 00:05:01,190 --> 00:05:03,170 Get?What's to get? 129 00:05:03,170 --> 00:05:05,550 It seems like a useless emotion. 130 00:05:05,550 --> 00:05:07,440 What is there to be guilty about? 131 00:05:07,440 --> 00:05:08,790 everything. 132 00:05:08,790 --> 00:05:11,690 You know,missing lizard parties,getting divorced... 133 00:05:11,690 --> 00:05:13,800 telling Ritchie he can eat sugar cereal for dinner 134 00:05:13,800 --> 00:05:17,270 when I know damn well I finished it this morning. 135 00:05:18,260 --> 00:05:19,590 I never feel guilty. 136 00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:21,120 God,if I didn't feel guilty, 137 00:05:21,120 --> 00:05:22,460 I wouldn't get out of bed in the morning. 138 00:05:22,460 --> 00:05:23,740 What motivates you? 139 00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:25,230 Food and sex. 140 00:05:25,860 --> 00:05:28,050 You are so disgusting. 141 00:05:28,050 --> 00:05:30,060 I am starving. 142 00:05:30,060 --> 00:05:31,630 And I am lonely. 143 00:05:31,630 --> 00:05:33,310 I have to go. 144 00:05:36,610 --> 00:05:37,910 Well,thanks for driving. 145 00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:41,820 Oh,well,when I told my momI was going out with my therapist, 146 00:05:41,820 --> 00:05:44,430 she said it might be good to have my own car. 147 00:05:44,430 --> 00:05:48,360 Actually,she said it might be goodto call the state licensing board. 148 00:05:49,140 --> 00:05:50,670 I calmed her down. 149 00:05:50,670 --> 00:05:51,430 Well,I'm glad. 150 00:05:51,430 --> 00:05:53,480 I mean,technically I'm not your therapist anymore. 151 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:57,240 I don't even think it's against the rulesuntil we sleep together. 152 00:05:57,750 --> 00:05:59,760 Unless,not until. 153 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:01,230 Unless you want to...until you want to... 154 00:06:01,230 --> 00:06:03,550 Tell me more about your mom. 155 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:07,050 Oh,I want to. 156 00:06:08,800 --> 00:06:10,280 I think we should take this slow. 157 00:06:10,280 --> 00:06:14,170 I don't want to just jump into bedlike I do with everyone else. 158 00:06:15,350 --> 00:06:17,750 But that your mom's okay with? 159 00:06:17,750 --> 00:06:19,290 No. 160 00:06:20,090 --> 00:06:21,730 It's just... 161 00:06:21,730 --> 00:06:23,760 I want to do this right. 162 00:06:23,760 --> 00:06:26,060 Then let's take this slow. 163 00:06:29,730 --> 00:06:32,540 That wasn't so slow. 164 00:06:32,540 --> 00:06:34,980 Oh,that one part was. 165 00:06:34,980 --> 00:06:37,240 You're welcome. 166 00:06:38,340 --> 00:06:40,520 I really like you. 167 00:06:41,010 --> 00:06:42,550 I should go. 168 00:06:42,550 --> 00:06:44,310 Oh,really?You kind of just got here. 169 00:06:44,310 --> 00:06:47,220 Oh,I thought we were finished. 170 00:06:47,570 --> 00:06:49,460 You finished,right? 171 00:06:49,980 --> 00:06:52,040 Yeah,didn't you see my fist pump? 172 00:06:53,620 --> 00:06:54,970 Yeah. 173 00:06:55,710 --> 00:06:57,650 That was fun. 174 00:06:58,430 --> 00:07:00,990 Yeah,you know,it was. 175 00:07:00,990 --> 00:07:01,950 This looks good. 176 00:07:01,950 --> 00:07:04,180 Okay,well,um... 177 00:07:04,180 --> 00:07:06,570 I guess I should just take off,so... 178 00:07:06,570 --> 00:07:09,860 Okay,well,thanks for the ride. 179 00:07:14,450 --> 00:07:16,540 Oh,God,I'm tired. 180 00:07:17,060 --> 00:07:18,150 Am I done? 181 00:07:18,150 --> 00:07:19,550 I packed Ritchie's lunch, 182 00:07:19,550 --> 00:07:23,220 I ordered new towels for the gym,I put the trash out. 183 00:07:23,220 --> 00:07:25,440 I should brush my teeth. 184 00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:27,400 Eh,I had some red wine. 185 00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:29,830 That'll kill the bacteria. 186 00:07:30,800 --> 00:07:33,440 I'm good,I'm fine. 187 00:07:34,410 --> 00:07:36,530 I'm lonely. 188 00:07:36,530 --> 00:07:38,110 I'm fine. 189 00:07:38,110 --> 00:07:39,210 Everything's done. 190 00:07:39,210 --> 00:07:41,030 I'm fine. 191 00:07:41,390 --> 00:07:43,560 I'm lonely. 192 00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:45,950 I'm fine. 193 00:07:47,090 --> 00:07:49,570 Lizard club! 194 00:07:50,700 --> 00:07:52,190 Matthew! 195 00:07:55,830 --> 00:07:59,280 Matthew,Matthew,I forgot... 196 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:04,030 What's the matter with you? 197 00:08:04,030 --> 00:08:05,770 I finally went on a date with Lucy. 198 00:08:05,770 --> 00:08:07,910 We had the greatest time,and she just took off. 199 00:08:07,910 --> 00:08:10,840 I have no idea what I did wrong. 200 00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:12,000 Well,I don't know... 201 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:16,200 Maybe you forgot to sign Ritchie up for reptile cluband missed a deadline. 202 00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:19,720 You know what,enough about me. 203 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:22,370 Why don't we talk about what's going on with you? 204 00:08:23,100 --> 00:08:25,740 Matthew,I forgot to sign Ritchie up for the reptile club. 205 00:08:25,740 --> 00:08:27,840 I am just the worst mother. 206 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:30,130 You're not a great sister,either. 207 00:08:30,130 --> 00:08:30,930 I'm sorry. 208 00:08:30,930 --> 00:08:32,420 I can see that you're hurting. 209 00:08:32,420 --> 00:08:34,350 What do you think I should do? 210 00:08:34,350 --> 00:08:36,710 Well,I don't know--I mean... 211 00:08:36,710 --> 00:08:42,560 I guess the only thing to dois beg that man to let Ritchie in the reptile club. 212 00:08:43,350 --> 00:08:46,540 Okay,but next time we talk about you. 213 00:08:52,430 --> 00:08:54,290 Hello? 214 00:08:54,630 --> 00:08:56,390 Hello? 215 00:08:56,390 --> 00:08:59,030 Lizard guy? 216 00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:01,700 MAN: Can I help you? 217 00:09:01,700 --> 00:09:04,050 Where are you? 218 00:09:07,430 --> 00:09:10,230 Oh,I didn't see you. 219 00:09:10,230 --> 00:09:15,100 Yes,and that would have saved this lizard's lifeif you were a wk. 220 00:09:19,640 --> 00:09:21,650 I'm not a hawk. 221 00:09:22,050 --> 00:09:24,600 I'm not a lizard. 222 00:09:26,120 --> 00:09:27,910 Uh,so anyway,I... 223 00:09:28,530 --> 00:09:31,830 I'm wanting to turn in this sign-up formfor my son for the reptile club. 224 00:09:31,830 --> 00:09:32,580 Oh,no,no. 225 00:09:32,580 --> 00:09:34,040 The deadline for this was yesterday. 226 00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:36,400 We are no longer accepting applications. 227 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:38,190 No,no,I understand that I missed the deadline, 228 00:09:38,190 --> 00:09:41,190 but my son really,really wants to be in this club. 229 00:09:41,190 --> 00:09:46,280 You know,I'm a single working momjust trying to raise a kid on my own, 230 00:09:46,280 --> 00:09:49,810 and my best friend is in the hospital with hiccups. 231 00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:54,840 Can't you just make an exception? 232 00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:55,710 Oh,no,I don't think so. 233 00:09:55,710 --> 00:09:59,210 If I were to make an exception for you,what would happen? 234 00:09:59,210 --> 00:10:02,080 Ritchie would be in the club. 235 00:10:02,540 --> 00:10:04,810 Yes,I see what you're saying,but I don't think so. 236 00:10:04,810 --> 00:10:07,960 Oh,please,oh,please,I'm desperate! 237 00:10:08,710 --> 00:10:11,090 Okay,desperate... 238 00:10:11,090 --> 00:10:14,290 Let's see-- I guess we could talk about thisover... 239 00:10:14,290 --> 00:10:15,380 dinner? 240 00:10:15,380 --> 00:10:17,080 Oh,dinner? 241 00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:18,650 Oh,I,uh... 242 00:10:18,650 --> 00:10:20,940 I don't know about that. 243 00:10:21,140 --> 00:10:25,840 Fine.I will see you at the next birthday partyor corporate event. 244 00:10:29,870 --> 00:10:36,320 You know,uh,now that I know where you are,I can see you. 245 00:10:36,860 --> 00:10:42,220 Oh,well,that would spell troublefor this lizard if you were a hawk. 246 00:10:45,560 --> 00:10:47,740 I'm not a hawk. 247 00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:50,980 I'm not a lizard. 248 00:10:56,250 --> 00:10:57,470 Uh,well,I guess... 249 00:10:57,470 --> 00:11:01,730 maybe we could have a cup of coffeeif that will get Ritchie into the club. 250 00:11:01,730 --> 00:11:02,900 -Dinner. -Lunch. 251 00:11:02,900 --> 00:11:04,160 -Dinner. -Drinks. 252 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:04,980 A weekend away. 253 00:11:04,980 --> 00:11:06,710 Dinner. 254 00:11:11,500 --> 00:11:13,330 I can't believe you're going through with this. 255 00:11:13,330 --> 00:11:14,920 It's for Ritchie,okay? 256 00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:18,030 I can suffer through one terrible date for my kid. 257 00:11:18,030 --> 00:11:22,420 You're just gonna let your guilt rob youof your dignity,morals,ethics? 258 00:11:22,420 --> 00:11:23,940 Of course,Richard. 259 00:11:23,940 --> 00:11:25,810 I'm a mother. 260 00:11:26,540 --> 00:11:28,210 You don't even know this snake guy. 261 00:11:28,210 --> 00:11:29,690 How do you know he's not dangerous? 262 00:11:29,690 --> 00:11:30,470 I don't. 263 00:11:30,470 --> 00:11:31,900 That's why I'm bringing protection. 264 00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:34,350 What are you bringing,a mongoose? 265 00:11:35,250 --> 00:11:36,850 Sort of. 266 00:11:42,950 --> 00:11:45,710 We ready to do this? 267 00:11:49,820 --> 00:11:51,910 So tell me exactly what happened. 268 00:11:51,910 --> 00:11:53,390 We had dinner,it was great. 269 00:11:53,390 --> 00:11:55,200 We slept together,it was great. 270 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:57,250 I told her I liked her,and she just bolted. 271 00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:58,850 Well,there's your problem. 272 00:11:58,850 --> 00:12:01,130 You can't tell a girl you like her on the first date. 273 00:12:01,130 --> 00:12:04,120 I slept with her.I thought it was implied. 274 00:12:04,810 --> 00:12:06,670 You can't just put it out there like that. 275 00:12:06,670 --> 00:12:07,640 It's too much too soon. 276 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:08,700 It makes you seem desperate. 277 00:12:08,700 --> 00:12:10,780 I am desperate. 278 00:12:11,180 --> 00:12:13,450 We're all desperate,but they can't know that. 279 00:12:13,450 --> 00:12:15,140 You have to play it cool-- don't you remember high school? 280 00:12:15,140 --> 00:12:16,010 I remember high school. 281 00:12:16,010 --> 00:12:17,600 I had a pencil-thin mustache and a cape. 282 00:12:17,600 --> 00:12:19,940 I don't want to go back there. 283 00:12:20,820 --> 00:12:24,790 Look,you just have to have an attitudethat says, 284 00:12:24,790 --> 00:12:26,910 "Ain't no thing. 285 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:28,980 "Well,uh,how do you do that? 286 00:12:28,980 --> 00:12:31,930 You just say,"Ain't no thing. 287 00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,380 "And you say it a lot. 288 00:12:34,380 --> 00:12:37,840 I can't say that.I don't think you should say that. 289 00:12:38,130 --> 00:12:39,360 Okay,fine,fine. 290 00:12:39,360 --> 00:12:42,050 Then say,"Whatever. 291 00:12:42,340 --> 00:12:46,500 "It's like "ain't no thing," but for beginners. 292 00:12:47,540 --> 00:12:48,220 I don't...I... 293 00:12:48,220 --> 00:12:49,490 I think I should just call her. 294 00:12:49,490 --> 00:12:51,030 Absolutely not-- listen to me. 295 00:12:51,030 --> 00:12:52,380 How do you think I got New Christine? 296 00:12:52,380 --> 00:12:53,440 I have no idea. 297 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:55,760 We talk about it all the time. 298 00:12:57,090 --> 00:12:58,190 I'll tell you how. 299 00:12:58,190 --> 00:13:00,270 Because for the first six months of our relationship, 300 00:13:00,270 --> 00:13:01,740 she never knew where she stood. 301 00:13:01,740 --> 00:13:03,090 I kept her off balance. 302 00:13:03,090 --> 00:13:07,090 By the time she realized I wasn't that great,she was in too deep. 303 00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:10,440 That is strangely genius. 304 00:13:10,440 --> 00:13:11,160 Yep. 305 00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:13,880 It's what kept the Campbell menmarrying up for centuries. 306 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:19,710 And if all goes well,someday my son will be ableto trick the woman of his dreams,too. 307 00:13:24,190 --> 00:13:25,530 Okay. 308 00:13:26,380 --> 00:13:30,310 If you see a tree blink,that's our guy. 309 00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:34,440 God,I... 310 00:13:34,440 --> 00:13:36,640 I can't believe I'm doing this. 311 00:13:36,640 --> 00:13:37,950 Why are you doing this? 312 00:13:37,950 --> 00:13:40,200 Barb,I told you in the car: guilt. 313 00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:41,930 Oh,yeah,guilt. 314 00:13:41,930 --> 00:13:44,340 That's a white people problem. 315 00:13:44,340 --> 00:13:48,240 Like bad dancing and polygamy. 316 00:13:49,260 --> 00:13:50,610 There's our guy right there. 317 00:13:50,610 --> 00:13:52,270 All right,you sit at the bar,all right? 318 00:13:52,270 --> 00:13:54,910 And then,if I raise my bread basket up, 319 00:13:54,910 --> 00:13:56,820 that means I'm in trouble and I need you. 320 00:13:56,820 --> 00:13:58,610 And if I raise my wine glass up, 321 00:13:58,610 --> 00:14:01,620 that means I'm thirsty,I need more wine. 322 00:14:04,980 --> 00:14:06,230 Yeah? 323 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:07,620 Matthew? 324 00:14:07,620 --> 00:14:08,780 Lucy,hey. 325 00:14:09,370 --> 00:14:11,200 I just came by to get my jacket. 326 00:14:11,200 --> 00:14:13,270 Oh,your jacket. 327 00:14:13,270 --> 00:14:15,380 Did you see it? 328 00:14:15,860 --> 00:14:17,990 Whatever. 329 00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:21,710 Whatever,what? 330 00:14:21,710 --> 00:14:24,380 Whatever,whatever. 331 00:14:24,380 --> 00:14:25,660 Oh,yeah. 332 00:14:25,660 --> 00:14:28,560 Me,too.Whatever. 333 00:14:29,980 --> 00:14:33,010 I just thought maybe I left my jacket here. 334 00:14:33,010 --> 00:14:34,820 Really?Yeah,I didn't notice. 335 00:14:34,820 --> 00:14:36,330 I got a lot of jackets,though. 336 00:14:36,330 --> 00:14:37,440 You know,they come and go. 337 00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:39,860 Don't mean that much to me. 338 00:14:40,790 --> 00:14:42,610 Oh,yeah,me,too. 339 00:14:42,610 --> 00:14:44,640 I got so many jackets. 340 00:14:44,640 --> 00:14:46,760 I don't even know. 341 00:14:48,310 --> 00:14:49,520 Oh,there's my jacket. 342 00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:51,060 But since I don't even careabout it, 343 00:14:51,060 --> 00:14:54,520 I'm just gonna leave it there,so... 344 00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:58,320 So,bye. 345 00:14:58,320 --> 00:15:00,530 Whatever. 346 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:05,830 That can't be right. 347 00:15:08,390 --> 00:15:11,070 Well,this has been fun. 348 00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:17,840 Your mother certainly endured a lot of illnesses. 349 00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:20,750 I can't wait for you to meet her. 350 00:15:20,750 --> 00:15:22,960 Oh,yeah,I'm... 351 00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:25,390 not available when that would happen. 352 00:15:26,450 --> 00:15:30,540 But dinner was good,and this was good,so,um... 353 00:15:30,540 --> 00:15:32,170 are we about done here? 354 00:15:32,170 --> 00:15:34,430 Well,uh,when will I see you again? 355 00:15:34,430 --> 00:15:37,090 When I drop Ritchie off at the club. 356 00:15:37,090 --> 00:15:39,820 Oh,no,no,Ritchie is not in the club yet. 357 00:15:39,820 --> 00:15:41,390 Um,this...this first date... 358 00:15:41,390 --> 00:15:42,180 that just... 359 00:15:42,180 --> 00:15:45,740 that moves him up to the top of the waiting list. 360 00:15:45,740 --> 00:15:47,030 No,no,no,that wasn't the deal. 361 00:15:47,030 --> 00:15:50,960 The deal was that I take you to dinnerand you put Ritchie in the club. 362 00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:55,730 -No. -Yes. 363 00:15:55,730 --> 00:15:58,090 No. 364 00:15:59,710 --> 00:16:02,060 What kind of person goes back on their word? 365 00:16:02,060 --> 00:16:06,070 What kind of person goes out with a complete strangerto get their kid into a club? 366 00:16:06,070 --> 00:16:08,630 A good mother. 367 00:16:08,950 --> 00:16:12,900 A good mother doesn't miss deadlines. 368 00:16:12,900 --> 00:16:14,050 You're a creep. 369 00:16:14,050 --> 00:16:14,820 Well,what about you? 370 00:16:14,820 --> 00:16:18,920 You come in here with your soap opera hairand your little boom boom dress. 371 00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:20,620 Hey,hey! 372 00:16:20,620 --> 00:16:24,640 First of all,thank you very muchfor saying that about my hair. 373 00:16:25,300 --> 00:16:27,810 And second of all,I have a boom boom body,okay? 374 00:16:27,810 --> 00:16:30,010 This dress is,like,nothing special. 375 00:16:30,010 --> 00:16:32,260 You are disgusting. 376 00:16:32,260 --> 00:16:38,270 Oh,well,you know,there is a word for womenwho go out with men to get stuff. 377 00:16:38,270 --> 00:16:42,270 And it rhymes with four. 378 00:16:42,270 --> 00:16:43,620 What? 379 00:16:43,620 --> 00:16:45,840 Or...or... 380 00:16:45,840 --> 00:16:48,470 mostitute. 381 00:16:50,070 --> 00:16:52,340 You can't talk to me like that. 382 00:16:55,530 --> 00:16:57,410 Barb! 383 00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:09,260 All right,look,Neil,I have been letting guilt rule my life,but this is too much. 384 00:17:09,260 --> 00:17:10,220 I have crossed a line. 385 00:17:10,220 --> 00:17:13,670 You know,Ritchie is just gonna have to acceptthe fact that he doesn't get everything in life. 386 00:17:13,670 --> 00:17:16,230 This date is over. 387 00:17:17,650 --> 00:17:19,880 Come on,Barb,let's go. 388 00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:22,580 Go ahead,I'll get a ride. 389 00:17:28,370 --> 00:17:29,920 How was your date? 390 00:17:30,290 --> 00:17:32,020 It was humiliating,Matthew. 391 00:17:32,020 --> 00:17:34,920 It was demeaning and degrading and awful. 392 00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:36,120 Gonna go out with him again? 393 00:17:36,120 --> 00:17:38,190 Maybe. 394 00:17:40,100 --> 00:17:42,100 Ritchie,wake up. 395 00:17:42,100 --> 00:17:44,720 Mommy has to disappoint you. 396 00:17:46,210 --> 00:17:47,400 -Hi,Mom. -Hey,buddy. 397 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,610 Okay,listen,honey. 398 00:17:48,610 --> 00:17:53,020 I've got some not so great news,okay? 399 00:17:53,020 --> 00:17:56,700 I forgot to turn in that sign-up form, 400 00:17:56,700 --> 00:17:59,840 so I'm afraid you're not gonna be in the club. 401 00:17:59,840 --> 00:18:02,030 What club? 402 00:18:02,680 --> 00:18:03,790 Lizard club. 403 00:18:03,790 --> 00:18:06,480 What lizard club? 404 00:18:07,260 --> 00:18:10,680 Are you freaking kidding me,Ritchie? 405 00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:13,120 The lizard club that you begged me to be in. 406 00:18:13,120 --> 00:18:15,340 Now I want to be on the chess team, 407 00:18:15,340 --> 00:18:17,250 but the application has to be in by tomorrow. 408 00:18:17,250 --> 00:18:18,880 Okay,go to bed,buddy. 409 00:18:18,880 --> 00:18:20,390 Go to bed. 410 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:24,160 Hey,can I ask you something? 411 00:18:24,160 --> 00:18:25,450 Does Richard know anything about... 412 00:18:25,450 --> 00:18:27,280 No. 413 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:28,060 Women? 414 00:18:28,060 --> 00:18:30,490 Double no. 415 00:18:31,630 --> 00:18:33,300 Oh,good,you guys are up. 416 00:18:33,300 --> 00:18:35,910 Hey,Richard,I think you gave me really bad advice. 417 00:18:35,910 --> 00:18:38,160 Yeah,that happens. 418 00:18:40,340 --> 00:18:41,770 What's in the box? 419 00:18:41,770 --> 00:18:44,780 Well,when you left,I started feeling terrible. 420 00:18:44,780 --> 00:18:46,790 And I realized it was guilt. 421 00:18:46,790 --> 00:18:47,890 I mean,poor Ritchie. 422 00:18:47,890 --> 00:18:49,080 His parents are divorced. 423 00:18:49,080 --> 00:18:51,180 His dad's remarrying,his mom's a mess. 424 00:18:51,180 --> 00:18:53,120 Hey! 425 00:18:54,050 --> 00:18:55,950 Yeah. 426 00:18:55,950 --> 00:18:57,840 And I wanted to make it up to him somehow. 427 00:18:57,840 --> 00:19:02,220 So,guess who's gonna be the star of the reptile club. 428 00:19:02,640 --> 00:19:03,780 He likes chess now. 429 00:19:03,780 --> 00:19:04,810 What? 430 00:19:06,220 --> 00:19:08,600 Then,what am I gonna do with a snake? 431 00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:09,790 A snake? 432 00:19:09,790 --> 00:19:13,470 Relax.It's just a little tiny fella. 433 00:19:15,340 --> 00:19:16,160 Richard! 434 00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:18,480 What are you doing?You let a snake loose in the house? 435 00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:20,920 You guilt-tripped me into thinkingI was a terrible father. 436 00:19:20,920 --> 00:19:22,180 You are a terrible father. 437 00:19:22,180 --> 00:19:25,370 You let a snake loose in your son's house. 438 00:19:26,380 --> 00:19:28,250 Matthew,I need to know what's going on. 439 00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:30,100 There's a snake loose on the floor. 440 00:19:30,100 --> 00:19:32,140 Thank you. 441 00:19:33,190 --> 00:19:35,530 Why were you so weird when I came to get my jacket? 442 00:19:35,530 --> 00:19:37,790 Why were you so weird when I told you I liked you? 443 00:19:37,790 --> 00:19:41,510 Because I like you,too,and I didn't want to mess this up. 444 00:19:41,510 --> 00:19:44,310 Guys always freak out 'cause they think I'm too clingy. 445 00:19:44,310 --> 00:19:45,650 Clingy? 446 00:19:45,650 --> 00:19:47,540 Oh,I love you. 447 00:19:48,310 --> 00:19:50,410 I love you,too. 448 00:19:50,410 --> 00:19:52,250 You're losing her,man. 449 00:19:53,260 --> 00:19:56,710 Uh,Lucy,this is Christine,my sister,and Richard,her -husband. 450 00:19:56,710 --> 00:19:58,220 Hi,nice to meet you. 451 00:19:58,220 --> 00:20:01,220 Ain't no thing. 452 00:20:01,960 --> 00:20:06,020 Okay,Richard,stop flirtingand figure out how to get the snake. 453 00:20:06,020 --> 00:20:06,890 I'm not touching it. 454 00:20:06,890 --> 00:20:08,220 Little bastard tried to bite me. 455 00:20:08,220 --> 00:20:10,720 Well,how are we gonna get it out of here? 456 00:20:10,720 --> 00:20:14,640 Wow,there are a lot of corks under here. 457 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:17,560 There he is,there he is.Here's the little guy. 458 00:20:17,560 --> 00:20:20,820 Oh,well,he's a cutie,isn't he? 459 00:20:21,120 --> 00:20:22,240 Uh,where do you want him? 460 00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:24,430 Um,at your house. 461 00:20:24,430 --> 00:20:26,640 I'll be more than happy to take him. 462 00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:29,400 And this way,you can come and see him any time you want. 463 00:20:29,400 --> 00:20:32,910 Oh,I won't be available when that happens. 464 00:20:32,910 --> 00:20:34,150 I...I see. 465 00:20:34,150 --> 00:20:36,220 You're done with me now,right?Right,yeah. 466 00:20:36,220 --> 00:20:37,660 I'm just the,uh... 467 00:20:37,660 --> 00:20:39,210 I'm just the lizard guy. 468 00:20:39,210 --> 00:20:41,920 Uh,my...my feelings don't matter. 469 00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:43,690 I know what you're trying to do. 470 00:20:43,690 --> 00:20:46,500 You're trying to make me feel guilty. 471 00:20:46,500 --> 00:20:48,480 Well,I don't. 472 00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:50,760 All right,I'll bite. 473 00:20:50,760 --> 00:20:54,660 How resistant was your mother's bacteria? 474 00:20:57,540 --> 00:21:00,100 -=www.ydy.com/bbs=- Proudly Presents 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net